Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I need to vent

I understand that if I were still breastfeeding the Chipmunk then feeding him would be solely my responsibility (well, mine and daycare lady). However, the Chipmunk had only ever gone three or four days in a row without any supplementation whatsoever. That means that he's been taking a bottle pretty much since the day he was born. This also means that giving him a bottle and washing that bottle could have been performed by someone else.
Don't get me wrong, I love the quiet times we get together when I feed him. I've come to enjoy the fact that I'm the only one in our household that he will eat for (well, maybe not so much at 3am since he's still not consistently sleeping through the night - bygones). But, why does that mean that since I'm the only one that he'll eat for I should be the only one washing the bottles? Granted, it's a tedious task. But, it only takes 15 minutes - max.
Hubby will wash the bottles - if I ask him to, and even then he'll normally find one way or another to get out of it (even though I normally only ask him to wash them once or twice a week). But why do I even have to ask him to do it? He knows how many bottles we have. He knows (roughly) how many bottles are needed for one 24 hour period. Shouldn't it be self-explanatory that the bottles will need to be washed nightly?
Last night I was working on reconciling our bank account while he tried to find something to watch on TV. After I had spent almost an hour doing what I needed to do on the computer, he was lazing around on the bed still trying to find something to watch on TV. Also, before I had started working on our bank records I had bathed, fed, and put the Chipmunk to bed. When I asked him if he had washed the bottles yet, his reply was that there was still one more left.
What happens after that bottle is used in the middle of the night and we (ahem - I) need a clean one for first thing in the morning and four more clean ones to take to daycare? Is it just me, or does it seem like it would be easier to get the cleaning of the bottles done while we would normally be awake anyway than to get up early to wash them? Should I just accept this as my fate for another five months and not try to change my husband?
I won't even get started about how I appear to be the only one who knows where the Chipmunk's dresser is - you know, for putting away clean clothes.


  1. I know where you're comin' from, but let me give you another perspective - one that has probably helped preserve my sanity. See, the DH (or Donor, as Mr. Lady likes to call them) may have been at work all day. Is that the case in your house? It is in mine. So they want to come home and relax after committing most of their waking hours to someone else in the name of a paycheck. They don't see what we do all day. They can't comprehend how many diapers, and bottles, and outfits (baby's and ours) we've been through in the day, let alone the tears (baby's and ours) and the exhaustion we may face. The way they see it, we're home all day so we should be able to get to all of that.

    A lot of our significant others who aren't around all day to see this all transpire don't get it. (Some of them do.)

    They WON'T get it until you make it perfectly clear. One night, when he's in a good mood (or perhaps over the weekend when all is going along swimmingly) give him time to get settled, then, after the Little Interrupter has been put down for the night or a nap, have a heart to heart. START with "I know you work really hard all day at work." I don't care if his job entails sitting at a desk watching a security camera or basketweaving. Start with "I know you work hard..." Move on gently from there explaining, calmly, your day, the work you do. THEN explain that you could use some help and be SPECIFIC about what you'd like him to do. Wash bottles? Pay bills? Be realistic. What can he do at the end of a long day at work that won't eat up his ENTIRE evening (but will help you with yours)?

    Once he takes over that duty (or those duties), DON'T criticize how he does it or when he does it. Just be happy that he's doing it, helping, and use some of the time he's saved you to be with him. :)

    Best wishes!

  2. Thanks for commenting, JenPB. But, I take it you don't read here often enough to know that both my husband and I work outside the home. So, when I ask him to do something that I would normally do, it's after a long day at work for both of us. I just wanted to vent, that is all.