To avoid any confusion in upcoming posts I'm going to give you a cheatsheet of who's who.
The Witch = my adoptive mother
The Doormat = my adoptive father
Monkey = my five year old son
Chipmunk = my new son (five months next week)
Hubby = my husband (obviously)
Swiggy = myself (it will be obvious why I would need to refer to myself in another post)
Jerk = my adoptive brother
E = someone who was like a mother to me growing up
I think that's all, I'll let you know if any more pop up.