Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I don't know who to choose

When I was driving home from work last week the song "Live Like We're Dying", by Kris Allen, came on the radio.

I don't like country music, and I'm pretty sure that's what you'd classify that song as. But, for the first time since it's been playing on the airwaves I actually listened to the words.

This next line made me think.

And then cry.

"And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye?"

My first reaction was that I would call my husband.

I immediately reconsidered and thought I would call the Monkey.

Again, I immediately reconsidered and thought I would call the Chipmunk. Oh how I would want to call the Chipmunk.

But then I felt guilty.

And confused.

I felt guilty because I was picking one of them over the others. I felt guilty because calling the Chipmunk wouldn't accomplish anything, since he wouldn't really be able to understand me.

I felt confused because I really would want to speak to all three of them, but if I truely had to choose one I kept going back to the Chipmunk. And I have no idea why.

That's why I was crying. I cried the whole way home after that. I kept going back to that line in the song and trying to make sense of my feelings.

Why do I have to choose one? They are all part of my heart. I would want them to know I was thinking of all of them during that time.

I guess I'm just going to have to hope it doesn't happen before I make up my mind.


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